Q: Is it right of someone to correct my prayers and/or tell me how to pray? If I am praying for someone and at the end of my prayer that person tells me not to pray certain things I had mentioned in my prayer, but to only pray for something specific for them - is that right? How do I receive that? Is that legalism?
A: Shortly before Jesus was arrested, and subsequently sentenced to crucifixion, He was overwhelmed with emotion and anxiety to the point where He prayed, "My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done (Matthew 26:42b)." In one of Christ’s more human moments, we see Him ask God to remove the task set before Him of suffering and dying for our sins. Yet, Jesus submits to the will of God the Father and, indeed, paid the debt we owed Him. One thing that we must notice about the actions of Jesus when He prayed was that He prayed alone. On each of the three occasions Jesus prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane, we read where Jesus says to His disciples, "Sit here while I go over there and pray (Matthew 26:36)," "He went away a second time and prayed (Matthew 26:42a)," and "So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time (Matthew 26:44)." Jesus did not ask for someone to pray with Him, to pray for Him or to tell Him how to pray. He simply opened up to God and revealed what was on His heart.
This precedent of praying alone is reiterated in other parts of scripture as well."But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen (Matthew 6:6)." I believe we are encouraged to pray by ourselves, in a secluded place, because we are best able to be ourselves in those situations. When is it that we feel most comfortable to reveal the deepest feelings of our heart? It is when we are alone, free from the pressure that comes with having others around. There is a sense that we must "perform" for the crowd, if you will, when others are around during our prayers. We can become more concerned about how others will react to what we say rather than if what we say is a true representation of what is on our heart. Besides, in many situations, we may not even know where to begin to pray. And scripture supports that when it says we "do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express (Romans 8:26)."
It has almost become cliche’ for others to ask us to pray for them at times. While this can definitely be comforting to some, and a form of carrying each others burdens, it also can mislead one into believing that God only hears our prayers if more than one person is praying. God desires a personal relationship with each individual Christian. That is why it says "there is one God and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus (1 Timothy 2:5)." Jesus "went away" to pray. He told the disciples to go to a room and "close the door" when they prayed. These are descriptions of what it is like to go directly to God when we pray. Because of what Jesus accomplished for us through His death, burial and resurrection, we can "approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need (Hebrews 4:16)."While there is nothing wrong with praying for others, we should take the opportunity to remind them that they have direct access to God just like we do. Instead of praying for them you can pray with them. After all, it was Jesus who said that for "where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst (Matthew 18:20)."
Another thing we can learn from the way in which Jesus prayed, besides the fact that He was alone when He did it, is that He ended His prayers with "your will be done." Just like Jesus prayed that His task be removed from Him, we often pray for what we believe is in our best interest. That is usually a request to have something painful, stressful, burdensome or worrisome removed from our lives. While we should definitely cast our "anxiety on Him because He cares for [us] (1 Peter 5:7)," we must also remember that we "no longer live, but Christ lives in [us] (Galatians 2:20). Therefore, whatever He desires for our lives should be of utmost concern to us. God’s will is that we be "joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18)." Our individual relationships with God are between us and the Lord. No other Christian has the right to tell us how we should approach Him, even if it is on their behalf. If they develop a problem with the request you bring to the Lord, they have access to Him as well. In fact, they probably should have approached God with their request in the first place. Why would they be concerned with directing your prayers to God, on their behalf, when they are the ones best acquainted with what it is they want to bring to God? Perhaps, they should follow the lead of Jesus and go away to their secret place and through "prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present [their] requests to God (Philippians 4:6)."
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