I received an email about Joe Biden, the Democrat nominee for Vice President, which talked about the strength and courage he displayed while suffering through a family tragedy in 1972.
In 1972, just before Christmas and just weeks after being elected to his first term in the United States Senate, Biden's wife and only daughter were killed in a horrific car crash caused by a drunk driver.
"Five years after this [trauma], no one man deserves one great love, let alone two," Biden later recalled in an interview with David Brody of CBN. "I met and married my wife of 30 years who actually put my life back together again and put my family back together again. But you know, when something like that happens to you. It's like there's a big black hole in your chest, and you feel like you're being sucked in to that black hole. You feel like there isn't anything that will ever get better again in your life. But my mom has an expression, she said God sends no cross that you cannot bear, and she said, I remember literally the week of the accident her saying 'Joey, out of everything horrible something good will come if you look hard enough.' And I thought that was the cruelest thing in the world someone could say, but it's true.
"Obviously I wished it never, ever, ever happened, but my sons and I, it's like a steel belt that runs through our chest connecting us. My family is so strong, and I really believe and my wife Jill of 30 years believes that Neilia my wife, is looking down on us.
I empathize with Joe Biden and his ability to flourish after this tragedy in his life. However, when I read comments that are meant to encourage us unintendedly say something about God that isn't true, I cringe. A platitude, by definition, is a flat, dull or trite remark uttered as if it were fresh or profound. Although, they were said with the best intentions, when somebody says, "God sends no cross that you cannot bear," and "my wife is looking down on us," I wonder where they get their information about God and the afterlife.
"Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father's glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what he has done. I tell you the truth, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom." Matthew 16: 24-28
God does not send crosses for us to bear in the form of things like the sudden loss of a wife and child in a horrific car accident. What kind of God do we think we have who robs a man of his family as some sort of test for that man to endure as a disciple of His? The cross Jesus spoke of is whatever it is we lose to proclaim the Gospel! Personally, I have lost contact with friends and family because of my being a witness for Jesus Christ. Others have lost jobs, respect and even their lives to stand for Jesus Christ. The life a Christian has is through faith in Jesus Christ. Being a Christian doesn't mean that we are immune to the trials and tribulations of life. When we suffer a loss it is not a cross to bear, but a time when whatever it is we have faith in is put to the test. We are reminded in the book of Romans that there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus. If we are to believe that God is sending us crosses to bear in the form of personal tragedy, it is not far fetched for one to believe that we are being condemned by God. However, when we understand that nothing can separate us from the love of God we realize that suffering loss in our lives is an opportunity for those close to us to see the strength God has given us, in Christ. It compels those without the Lord, or weak in their faith, to seek out what it is we are relying on in our time of need.
"But Abraham replied, 'Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us.' "He answered, 'Then I beg you, father, send Lazarus to my father's house, for I have five brothers. Let him warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment.' "Abraham replied, 'They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them.' " 'No, father Abraham,' he said, 'but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.' "He said to him, 'If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.' " Luke 16: 25-31
In the story of the Rich Man and Lazarus, Jesus tells of how the rich man was begging Abraham to allow Lazarus to return from the dead so that he could warn the rich man's brothers about the "place of torment." Abraham denied his request by saying they will not be convinced even if someone returned from the dead. Many people, to comfort themselves and those they love, believe that the dead are looking down on us. An obvious reference to them looking down from Heaven. Besides the false assumption that the dead are automatically in heaven, regardless of whether they have faith in Christ or not, is the lack of evidence supporting that the dead are able to look down on us. The rich man in the story from Luke couldn't even look up from his "place of torment," much less look down from heaven. The Bible says, in Hebrews, that man is destined to die once and then face judgment. There is no evidence that the dead are looking in on us from above as though they could stick their heads through the clouds and take a peek at what is going on down here. This is just as unfounded as such phenomenon as ghosts and reincarnation. All of which are not based in fact. Again, I understand how much of these types of things are said to comfort others when we may be, otherwise, at a lost for words. But, some of these statements have been said for so long, and repeated so often, that they have taken on a life of there own and become a form of theology.
"To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8: 31-32
Baseless platitudes may comfort us temporarily, but it is the truth that sustains us for a lifetime. The truth is that Jesus lives in a believer and lives His life in and through us. He tought us that we would have tribulation in this life, but that He has overcome the world. He taught us, through the Apostle Paul, that we don't grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope, when we lose someone close to us. Christians understand that, for us, this life is just the beginning of an eternal journey with God and His Son. If we lose someone who is in Christ, like us, it is not that we don't mourn their passing. But, we understand that their passing from this life is entrance into a glorious eternity with the Lord. If anything, we aren't comforted by the thought that they are "looking down on us," we are comforted by the fact that someday we will join them in eternity with Christ. Our burdens in this world are not crosses to bear put on us by God. Rather, they are unfortunate byproducts of living in a fallen world. However, in the midst of our suffering, the faithfulness of God is revealed as we realize that our trials are opportunities for Him to show His love for the world through us. This is a truth that sets us free from trying to make sense of this world and deal with its problems by relying on our own understanding and the limits of our flesh.
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