Change for a Dollar

One of the deepest needs of the human heart is unconditional love. I had a close friend of mine tell me she believed I loved her unconditionally because I had stuck with her through some very dark moments in her life. While I can understand her point, to be honest with you, no human is capable of giving unconditional love. The human being is only capable of giving conditional love, at best. It is just that for many of us, like my friend, we believe that those conditons will always be met and, therefore, call it unconditional love. As I have heard it put, most marriages that last a long time have done so because the couples involved have found a set of laws they have agreed upon to live by. Now, I know that is simplistic, but I think you get my point. One of the best illustrations about unconditional love was told to me by my friend. It centers around two people who need change for a dollar.

Most everyone has experienced a moment when they needed change for a dollar. It could have been to make a telephone call at a pay phone, or they may have wanted to purchase something at a vending machine which did not accept paper bills. When looking for change, a person will go on a quest. They may begin with people they already know. They may ask friends who are nearby. People generally don't ask those who they don't know, although it may be a good conversation starter. A cashier at a store would be able to help, but they may require you to purchase something. There may be another person who is also looking for change for a dollar. They may need the change for another purpose, but they aere still looking for the same thing. Depending on the environment, their quest may be difficult or easy.

Consider the situation described above. If we have two people who are looking for change for a dollar, and we can just find a way to get them together, then they will be complete. Any person with even the smallest sense of reality should easily be able to recognize that this is an absurd solution. How can two people who are looking for the same thing find it if we just bring them together? If we bring two people together looking for change for a dollar, they still need change for a dollar. Still, this is exactly how many people live their lives when it comes to building relationships with other people. If a man is looking for love, and a woman is looking for love, some how our society has made the irrational conclusion that bringing them together will make them complete. This is a common conflict that exists in virtually all marriages. Both persons seeking to obtain from each other, something neither of them have to give.

The only place to find the unconditional love our hearts desire is in a saving relationship with Jesus Christ.

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8: 35-39

When most people say that someone loves them unconditionally it is because the things that would have to occur in order for that love to end aren't expected to happen. For example, within the marriage relationship, no spouse expects infidelity, abandonment, substance abuse, verbal abuse or physical abuse to arise. And even if something like that doesn't happen, both individuals, if seeking uconditional love from the other, run the risk of hurting the marriage in their efforts to attain something from each other they don't have to give. However, God's love is unconditional. The sins of the world that once separated us from Him have been taken away eternally by the sacrifice of Jesus at the cross. The sins that separate us from each other do not separate us from God. If you imagine all the heinous and unbelievable things that we do to each other, that tear us apart, and realize that they don't separate us from God, then you understand that nothing in all creation will separate us from the love of God.

"When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross." Colossians 2: 13-14

The reason I believe we can't love each other unconditionally is because our sins come between us. No matter how much we say we love somebody, there is only so much we can take before we throw in the towel. If someone does something once, we might be able to carry on. However, if something is continual and never seems to stop, then we remove ourselves from that person and from whatever trauma we are suffering. If you think of the billions of people in the world and all the sins they commit, even amongst believers, then you can get a picture of just how much God loves us. As I mentioned earlier, the laws we agree to live by within our relationships, stand against us and are opposed to us when they are violated. When our laws are violated we become angry, unforgiving and unloving. Or we sit and take the abuse not wanting the relationship to end or to rock the boat. In either case we aren't giving or receiving unconditional love. However, God stays their with us, never leaving or foresaking us, in constant fellowship with us. Now, that is forgiveness. He took away all our sins so that there would never again be a sin that would cause our fellowship with Him to be disrupted. And understanding that unconditional love is what allows us to serve each other in love, not expecting from each other something we don't have to offer. In essence, when we get change for our dollar from God, His unconditional love, and share it with those we love. We give them the love and forgiveness we have received from God when they don't act loving or unforgiving towards us. This, in turn, points them towards God in order for them to get from Him that He gave us.