I Don't Want To Talk About It

Today at work I happened to see a coworker coming towards me who looked like she had been crying. She had the typical red eyes and flushed look on her face. Knowing we had a decent relationship I asked, "What is wrong?" "Nothing," she replied. Granted, being at work, and the fact that talking about things can lead to uncontrollable emotion, made me understand why she did not respond to my question. I never did discover what was troubling her and I, probably, won't find out. It is none of my business, but I wanted her to know that I cared about whatever it was that was troubling her. It reminded me, however, of how so many people talk about having others in our lives that we feel close enough to them to reveal our innermost feelings. When, and if, this time arrives it usually takes place in a private setting. It must be private or else nothing of substance will take place. I am always a little amused at how when others notice that we are struggling with something and offer to help us, we usually rebuke them with the aforementioned, "nothing is wrong" or " I don't want to talk about it." In other words, I am not comfortable enough to confide in you. I am reminded of a radio program that was encouraging Christians to engage in "corporate confession of sin." I found the following statement about this subject on a Christian website.

One of the most meaningful times of the worship service to me and my wife has been the practice of the corporate confession of sin at the beginning of a worship service. Many churches have put aside the corporate confession in favor of only music but the church has historically made the corporate confession central to worship. For most it makes the time of worship more authentic and joyful for it strikes a blow against self-righteousness and humbles us before God as we say what we know to be true of ourselves. It reminds us that we are not better than others and that it is only grace (an alien righteousness) which makes us what we are. God remembers, in the covenant in Christ's blood, not to treat us as our sins deserve. In it we pray for personal sin, for the sins of our local church, our local community, our nation and world.

When I read this, my first thought was one of disbelief. The individual quoted talks of corporate confession of sin as being meaningful, central to worship, authentic, joyful, humbling and reminding God not to treat us as our sins deserve. I realized that I had experienced this practice at past fellowships I belonged to. The descriptions mentioned here are not what I would call my experience.

"Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. "So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. "And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you." Matthew 6:1-6

There are not too many Christians, I presume, who are unfamiliar with this passage of scripture. It clearly speaks that giving and praying should be done in secret, out of the eyes of the public. Why? Because when we do these things in front of others, we are usually doing so for selfish reasons. As the passage says, we do it to be honored by men. I remember a sibling of mine telling me how when the collection plate came around he was inclined to place a $20 bill in the plate because others were watching. But, in his heart he knew he had plans for that money. The point is that when we are being watched, it is our human nature to do things that cause us to be rewarded by men. After all, one of the main needs of the heart is acceptance. And we all do things in order to gain the acceptance of those around us. And it is no different inside the walls of a church. I don't see anything holy and righteous about telling our deepest secrets in a public forum. In fact, I would not be surprised if certain people were encouraged to admit something that is not too flattering and could possibly do more harm than good. Furthermore, corporate confession could lead to more sin as the sordid details of ones confession become fuel for gossip and inuendo. I know of a Christian couple who left a previous fellowship we attended together because one spouse was called in front of the Body and forced to admit their marriage troubles. My friend, the husband, was upset because the trouble they were having was magnified to appear worse than it was in actuality. There is nothing edifying by having our sins made public. Is this humbling and joyful? Absolutely not. In fact, it is more embarrassing and painful than anything else. The reason scripture encourages us to do things in secret is because that is where we are free to be ourselves without the humiliation, condemnation and unwanted attention that comes with doing it in public.

"So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." 2 Corinthians 5:16-21

The most disturbing thing mentioned about corporate confession of sin is that it reminds God not to treat us as our sins deserve. Excuse me, but did God forget what He did, in Christ, at the cross? If anybody needs to be reminded of anything it is Christians who have forgotten that their sins are no longer remembered by God. There is no reason to remind God, and our fellow Christians, of our sins when they have been taken away for all eternity by the sacrifice of Jesus Christ! We are encouraged to be reconciled to God because He is reconciled to us. The sin issue that separated us from God is no longer an issue. We are free to approach the throne of Grace because our sins no longer prevent us from fellowship with Him. There is nothing wrong with acknowledging our sin, but we must also agree with God as to what He has done with that sin. As Jesus proclaimed with His last breath, "it is finished." Man may count our sins against us, but not God. Honestly, reminding ourselves and other of our sins does nothing to help us grow in Christ. Perhaps, it may make us feel good, but should we put our feelings ahead of truth? Does it make you feel good to deny Christ's finished work on the cross? This is why the scriptures tell us to do things in secret and to be reconciled to God. IfWhen we sin that is the time that we go to God looking to be comforted and restored by His truth. We go to Him to see where it was we were not trusting Him with our lives. And, He reminds us that we are already forgiven and then instructs us in His ways. This is how we grow in confidence and in the grace and knowledge of the Lord. Telling each other how bad we are is only acknowledging the obvious to God. He is not surprised at it. If He was, He probably would never had died for our sins, in Christ. What we need to pray for when we come together is that the truth surrounding forgiveness is proclaimed. It is great to pray for yourself, your church, your community, the nation and the world. But, pray in accordance with truth so that you and those you encounter may know the fullness of the Gospel and the finished work of Christ. We go to God in secret when we need restoration. Then we are confident to go out in public and share the forgiveness of sins and resurrected life, in Christ, with the rest of the world. That is something we should all be willing to talk about!