Milk and Cookies

Q: If you have gone to church for 4 1/2 years and have not grown as a christian, and are further in to sin now than before, should a person leave a church like this? They are also telling teens they are saved but there is no change in these kids. They are so mean and hate filled now.

A: Leaving a church you don't feel you are growing in is a decision that you will have to make on your own. However, your spiritual growth as a Christian is your own responsibility. The Apostle Paul, on at least two occasions, chastised believers for their immaturity and lack of spiritual growth. He addressed Christians, in 1 Corinthians 3:1-3, as "infants in Christ" who "are still not ready" and "are still worldly." Our spiritual growth should not depend on what church we go to. In most cases, we only go to church once or twice a week. How would you be if you only bathed once or twice a week? If you only ate once or twice a week, how would you feel? The Holy Spirit is our Counselor who, as Jesus said, "will guide you into all truth (John 16:13)." Our growth is our own responsibility. It is not the responsibility of the leadership of a particular church we attend. We should not leave our growth in the hands of others. If we do so, we are at risk of not only staying infants in Christ, but of being "tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine (Ephesians 4:14)."

You mentioned that you are "further into sin now than before." This is a direct reflection of your spiritual growth, or lack thereof. As you grow in Christ you will begin to understand that the Christian life is about learning to trust in, and depend on, Jesus Christ, not about trying to stop sinning. Christ will not lead you into sin, but remind you of who you are in Him. And who are you in Christ? You are holy and blameless (Colossians 1:22). You are totally forgiven (Colossians 2:13). You have been made perfect forever (Hebrews 10:14). You are totally accepted by God (Romans 15:7). You are justified by God (Romans 3:23-24). You are free from condemnation (Romans 8:1). You are a child of God (John 1:12-13). You are a temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19)." You are a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). You have total access to God (Ephesians 3:12). And, amongst many other things, you are in fellowship with God (1 Corinthians 1:9). Because of your faith in Christ, your sins no longer separate you from God. This doesn't mean you will stop sinning, but as you begin to understand your identity in Christ, and all that you have been given, you will see a diminishing of the sin in your life. After all, it is the grace of God, the Holy Spirit reminding us of who we are in Christ and God's love for us, that "teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age (Titus 2:12)."

When we do not know our identity in Christ we end up having a misconception about God. Often times, within the confines of a church setting, we can treat others the way in which we believe God is treating us. If a person is not being led by the Holy Spirit, there only alternative is to be led by the law (religious doctrine). Too often Christians can be some of the meanest people you'd ever want to be around. And this is the byproduct of the legalism they have subjected themselves too. If you feel God is demanding perfect behavior and constant obedience to never-ending and increasingly more difficult rules, your frustration will show through. You will have no choice, but to subject others to the same laws you are under. Misery loves company. And the reason we may see others trapped in sin is because "the power of sin is the law. (1 Corinthians 15:56)." The purpose of the law was to "lead us to Christ (Galatians 3:24)." Therefore, if you are already in Christ, you are not under the law, but under grace. A Christian is not lead by outward laws designed to modify their behavior. A Christian is led from within through faith in the Holy Spirit to live out the Christian life, only He can live, in and through us.

You will never experience the love of God and a relationship with Him apart from the forgiveness of sins. Falling further into our own sins, not seeing the lives of younger believers changed and experiencing "mean and hate filled" Christians is a sign of not having a true relationship with God. I don't believe you are alone in your struggle. You may even be wondering if you have the wrong God. How could a God of love, grace and peace make me feel so terrible and only have a negative effect on those around me? It is because you, and they, probably don't realize how much God loves you and all He has given you through your faith in Christ. You can't teach others about the love of God if you are not experiencing it yourself. The author of Hebrews, like Paul in his letter to the Corinthians, talked about how a lack of maturity prevents you from teaching others about God. Instead of being teachers, "you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God's word all over again. You need milk, not solid food (Hebrews 5:12)!" These elementary truths center around understanding, and believing in, your identity in Christ. As a believer, you are the Church, a member of the Body of Christ. You are to bring the message of salvation in Jesus Christ to the world. You can't do that if you don't know who you are in Christ. And you can't know who you are in Christ if you believe your sins prevent you from approaching God. And you can't approach God until you recognize you have forgiveness of sins. And when you realize you have forgiveness of sins you can begin to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.