Q: I`m a straight Christian male in college, engaged to a wonderful Christian woman, and about to start my Senior year. I just found out that my roommate for this semester is homosexual. However, he is apparently a strong Catholic, and does not practice his homosexuality-- while he is attracted to men, he does not date men, engage in any romantic acts, or entertain those thoughts. However, I still feel uncomfortable. I feel the situation is similar to if my roommate were a woman-- even though I`m committed to marriage and monogamy and whatnot, it would still be unwise to live with someone of the female gender, in close quarters (the same room, though different beds). Thoughts? I really need some advice from fellow Christians on this. Thanks!
A: That is a troubling situation you find yourself involved in. The first thing that stands out in your question is that you identify yourself as a "straight" Christian male. Your identity should not be found in your sexual preference. If you are born again of the Spirit of God, through faith in Jesus Christ, you are a child of God. As John 1:12 says, "Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God." It is the same way with your roommate. If he is not a "practicing" homosexual who does not date men, does not engage in homosexual activity or entertain those thoughts, why does he call himself a homosexual? After all, our behavior is usually consistent with who we believe ourselves to be. A true Christian doesn't engage in homosexual behavior because it is not consistent with who they are in Christ. My initial advice to you is to request a different roommate, although, I know there may be some sore feelings that develop from doing so. You run the risk of tormenting yourself by your close, and constant, proximity to someone who is trapped in sin.
Although it is not quite the same situation, take a queue from scripture when it talks about the experience of Lot when he lived in Sodom. 2 Peter 2:8 says, "for that righteous man, living among them day after day, was tormented in his righteous soul by the lawless deeds he saw and heard.." Do you, a righteous man because of your faith in Christ, want to be tormented by the lawless deeds you see and hear your roommate engaging in? I know I wouldn't want to be in that situation. The Bible instructs us to "Abstain from all appearance of evil (1 Thessalonians 5:22)." You don't want to give the appearance that you condone the homosexual lifestyle by choosing to remain roommates with this young man. If I were you I would have a difficult time being a roommate with someone who identifies themselves with such a detestable sin as homosexuality. Perhaps, you might have an opportunity to witness to your roommate and bring them to faith in Christ. However, your attempts to witness, whether they are received well or not, could lead to many uncomfortable moments with your roommate. This is something to consider should you decide to remain roommates and one more reason why requesting a new roommate might be the best solution to your problem.
Furthermore, as a college student in your Senior year, you need to be focusing on your education to ensure that you graduate on time. Having a roommate engaged in homosexual behavior and the accompanying beliefs and associations that come with it can only serve to be a distraction when it comes to your academic pursuits. You mentioned your situation being similar to you living with a woman. In your present situation you, in many ways, can be a temptation to your roommate. How would you react if you are approached romantically by your roommate? Why continue to put yourself at risk? The Bible says to "flee sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18)" and to "not become a stumbling block to the weak (1 Corinthians 8:9)." Maybe your friend's ability to abstain from practicing homosexuality is a sign that he knows it is wrong. However, your removing yourself from the situation not only helps you avoid giving the appearance of condoning sin, falling into sin, being a stumbling block to someone trapped in sin, but also may be a powerful witness to your roommate as he recognizes you're uncomfortable with his lifestyle choice.
The Bible talks about homosexuality in no uncertain terms. The act of homosexuality is detestable to God. "Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable (Leviticus 18:22)." Homosexuality is an unnatural use of the body. "In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another (Romans 1:27)." Those who practice homosexuality will not inherit the Kingdom of God. "Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)." Your roommates identification as a homosexual tells me that he does not have a saving relationship with Jesus Christ, regardless of his strong ties to Catholicism. Thankfully, his sin is not being counted against him because of the death of Jesus Christ. However, he has a bigger problem than his sin. His sin is strong evidence that he is spiritually dead to God and in need of the life of Christ. In other words, he needs to be born again.
Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again (John 3:3)." In my opinion, your roommate is trying to fill the void in his heart, his spiritual death, through sexual sin. That void in his heart can only be filled by Jesus Christ. Like all mankind, your friend was born into this world dead to God, but alive to the world. God desires to have a relationship with him, but before he can your roommate must realize the futility of engaging in homosexuality. He is basically telling God He was wrong when He created Adam and Eve for each other by engaging in homosexuality. The best one could hope is for your roommate to come to the end of himself by becoming so disgusted with his lifestyle that his only alternative is to turn to Christ and receive forgiveness and spiritual life through faith in Him. Whether that ever happens is between him and the Lord. However, I would suggest you remove yourself from the situation. In most cases you will only corrupt yourself in some way by subjecting yourself to his sin. If he asks you why you want a new roommate then I suggest you respond to him in the spirit of 1 Peter 3:15-16:
"Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander."
I trust God will be able to use my words to help you find an answer to what to do in your situation. May He continue to reveal to you all that you already have been given through faith in Jesus Christ.
No comments:
Post a Comment