Am I Saved?

Q: Hi. I have desperate fears and ongoing anxiety over whether or not I truly am a Christian. I fear I have through unbelief fallen away from God. Saying `sorry` and then trying to believe never seems to last very long. I believe I have encountered God, indeed, I often preach and have held various leadership positions. But I feel no love for Jesus and I can`t say with certainty that I know I believe the gospel. I believe it`s all true, but so does the devil; my struggle is to put my trust in it. I fear I`m shallow soil; that my faith has only ever been spurious, and that I may be apostate. I cry out to God again and again, but not a lot is changing. Do you think that my being concerned over this is evidence that I am saved? Would someone who is shallow soil be afraid of apostatising? I`m terrified I might be apostate, but I can`t seem to be able to actually place my trust in Christ, either, try as I may. How can I learn to exercise faith, when I seem to fail every time I try? I want to believe, but I feel like I can`t; like it`s impossible for me. Sorry lots of questions. Thank you for your help.

A: Hello. I am sorry that you are so concerned about your salvation. Let me put your mind at ease by letting you know that many Christians have experienced what you are going through at this time. But, rest assured that the fact you are struggling with whether or not you are a Christian is evidence that you are a Christian. Early on in my Christian life I was struggling with the fact that I wasn't reading the Bible enough, that I still struggled with certain sinful desires and actions along with many other issues. But, I realized one thing. I didn't even care about these things prior to coming to faith in Christ and now that I was in Christ it only served to prove the Bible correct. "For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want (Galatians 5:17)." Therefore, what you are experiencing is a natural part of your growth in Christ. So, instead of struggling, rejoice that the indwelling Holy Spirit is at war with your sinful nature.

A good friend of mine recently reminded me that it's not the size of our faith or even our ability to exercise it but Who our faith is in that matters. I sincerely believe that you are struggling because you may not know the fullness of the Gospel. Somewhere along the way it would seem that you have been told that your salvation is up to you to either obtain or maintain through your self-effort. Jesus made it clear when He said, "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light (Matthew 11:30)." It doesn't sound like your yoke is easy or your burden is light. Why would Jesus say this to us? It is because most of the time we are taught as Christians that the goal of the Christian life is to stop sinning and/or our right standing in God's eyes is conditional on our ability to be obedient to certain rules, tenants or laws. Does this sound familiar to you? Nothing could be further from the truth. There is nothing encouraging about the idea that we have to live the Christian life and that we are to somehow be like God in order to enter into the Kingdom of God.

The reason Jesus said His yoke was easy and His burden is light is because He did everything for us. 1 Peter 3:18 says, "For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God." Everything we try to obtain from God through our self-effort has been given to us as an act of faith because of what Jesus Christ did on our behalf. The reason you are feeling that you are "apostate," "cry out to God again and again," "never change" and are "terrified" is because your entire focus is on you. Has anyone ever told you that when God sees you He sees you as holy (Heb. 10:14), blameless (Col. 1:22), accepted (Rom. 15:7), righteous (2 Cor. 5:21), forgiven (Col. 2:13), sanctified (Heb. 10:10), justified (Rom. 3:23-24), free from condemnation (Rom. 8:1), at peace with Him (Rom. 5:1), have eternal life (1 John 5:11-13) and are His child (John 1:12-13)? How does reading this about yourself make you feel? If you don't know these truths ask yourself one question, "What is your understanding of the Gospel?"

For many Christians their understanding of the Gospel begins and ends with Jesus Christ's death on the cross for their sins. While this is part of the Gospel, it is incomplete. It is only half of the Gospel. And when you only know half the Gospel you are forced to fill in the gaps. And in most cases what we fill in the gaps with is religion which is centered around what you are doing for God and not on what God has done for you. When God created Adam He "breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being (Genesis 2:7)." But, before Adam had any children He sinned and what God promised would happen came to pass. "[Y]ou must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die (Genesis 2:17)." Adam died spiritually as God removed His life from Adam. Because of this, all mankind has been born into the world, in the image of Adam, spiritually dead to God in sin. Before God could restore His life to mankind He had to deal with the sin that caused that life to leave. Thus, you have the propitiating death of Jesus Christ. His death took away all our sins for eternity. That is why He said, "it is finished (John 19:30)." Now, through the Resurrection of Jesus Christ, God is able to offer His life again, as a free gift, to all who place faith in Him. And because there is no sin that can cause that life to leave it is an eternal life. A life that will carry you through this life and on into eternity. This is summed up for us in Romans 5:8-10.

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through him! For if, when we were God's enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life!"

Remember that it is not the size of your faith that counts for anything, but the size of your God. The goal of the Christian life is to start trusting God. And the only way to trust God is to understand your identity in Christ. The more you realize the inheritance you have in Christ the more you will begin to see the changes in your life you so desperately want to experience. You cannot mature in your faith, approach God with confidence, or experience His love, if you are living in fear of Him. The Apostle Paul said two important things about the Christian life. First he said, "For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died (2 Corinthians 5:14)." Secondly, "To this end I labor, struggling with all his energy, which so powerfully works in me (Colossians 1:29)." You see what Paul's motivation was for the Christian life? The love of Christ he was experiencing and the indwelling life of Christ he was resting in.

If you are still struggling with your salvation my suggestion is that you take the time right now and nail down the fact that you are a born again child of God through faith in Jesus Christ. The following is a suggested prayer:

Lord Jesus, I need you. Thank you for dying on the cross for the forgiveness of my sins. Thank you for offering me Your life. I now ask You to come into my heart as my Lord and Savior. Take control of my life and make me into the new creation You want me to be. I now thank You for coming into my heart and giving me eternal life.

If you prayed this prayer, the living Christ has come to dwell within you forever and you have begun the great adventure for which you were created as a child of God. The next thing to do is to do a study on your identity in Christ. Go back and look up the verses I have mentioned and study them. You can know that God will never leave you and have assurance of your salvation. And keep in mind that religion is man's best effort to reach up to God, but Christ is God's only method to reach down to man in forgiveness and offer him true life. May God continue to reveal to you the blessings you already have in Christ.