Q: Scripturely speaking why are men deemed to be head of their homes (scriptures to confirm this please)?
A: The reasoning behind men being referred to as the head of their homes or the head of the household has many biblical origins. One of the primary scripture references is 1 Corinthians 11:3. "Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God." The use of the word "head" refers to a position of leadership or great authority. While this is clear evidence that the man is in the position of leadership or authority in the home, we must be careful not to use the scriptures as an excuse to dominate others in our family. The scripture clearly says that the head of every man is Christ. Therefore, when understanding the role a man takes as head of the home that man must understand who he is in Christ and be a recipient of the love God has for him. Jesus said, "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many (Mark 10:45)."
Mankind was created with the desires to receive unconditional love and total acceptance. God created us in such a way that He is the only One capable of meeting the deepest desires of our heart. Too often, both men and women go looking to fulfill the desires of their heart in each other. Unfortunately, they end up tearing each other apart mentally, physically and spiritually because both are expecting something from the other that neither of them can provide. It is one of the main reasons so many marriages, Christian and secular alike, fail at alarming rates. The unrealistic expectations have devastating and reoccurring effects as both individuals go from relationship to relationship searching for what they will not find. We search in vain to satisfy a spiritual need through the acquisition of physical rewards. Jesus said, "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing (John 15:15)." It is only in Christ that we will finally be able to rest in what we have been given by God through faith.
In Christ we have been given a great inheritance. God "has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ (Ephesians 1:3)" and "has given us everything we need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3)." If we have all this through our faith in Christ what more is there for us to receive outside of our relationship with God? The answer is nothing. Our inheritance includes the unconditional love of God (Romans 8:38-39) and His total acceptance of us (Romans 15:7). It is when we are receiving all God has for us through our relationship with Jesus Christ that the other passages dealing with marriage and being the head of the home are put into proper perspective. In Ephesians 5:22-23 we read where wives are to "submit" to their husbands "as to the Lord" and the "husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church." There are similar passages in Colossians 3 and 1 Peter 3. As was mentioned earlier, Jesus came to serve and not to be served. Therefore, through us we can serve others with the love that God has given to us.
When we are serving others in love we will not be sinning against them. That truth alone will help a man love His wife as Christ loved the church because He is not looking for her to serve him and try to meet needs she cannot. He will be serving her with the love of Christ. Consequently, she will be submissive to him. And when a woman is experiencing the same love of God through her own relationship with Him, she will be serving her husband in love. And the consideration and respect she wants from her husband will be experienced by her. God made woman from man and then said, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh (Genesis 2:24)." A husband and wife can only become one flesh when they are both resting in, trusting in and depending on God as their source of everything they say and do. It is then and only then that both spouses will be motivated to submit, love, respect and honor each other in the way in which Christ did so for the Church. The key to remember is that "this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another (1 John 4:10-11)."
In Christ we have been given a great inheritance. God "has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ (Ephesians 1:3)" and "has given us everything we need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3)." If we have all this through our faith in Christ what more is there for us to receive outside of our relationship with God? The answer is nothing. Our inheritance includes the unconditional love of God (Romans 8:38-39) and His total acceptance of us (Romans 15:7). It is when we are receiving all God has for us through our relationship with Jesus Christ that the other passages dealing with marriage and being the head of the home are put into proper perspective. In Ephesians 5:22-23 we read where wives are to "submit" to their husbands "as to the Lord" and the "husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church." There are similar passages in Colossians 3 and 1 Peter 3. As was mentioned earlier, Jesus came to serve and not to be served. Therefore, through us we can serve others with the love that God has given to us.
When we are serving others in love we will not be sinning against them. That truth alone will help a man love His wife as Christ loved the church because He is not looking for her to serve him and try to meet needs she cannot. He will be serving her with the love of Christ. Consequently, she will be submissive to him. And when a woman is experiencing the same love of God through her own relationship with Him, she will be serving her husband in love. And the consideration and respect she wants from her husband will be experienced by her. God made woman from man and then said, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh (Genesis 2:24)." A husband and wife can only become one flesh when they are both resting in, trusting in and depending on God as their source of everything they say and do. It is then and only then that both spouses will be motivated to submit, love, respect and honor each other in the way in which Christ did so for the Church. The key to remember is that "this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another (1 John 4:10-11)."
1 comment:
Ian,
I married at 19 and thought that it was my husband's job to make me happy. After coming to know Christ in my mid 20's I found that only He was meant to give 'meaning and purpose' to my life. Even 'meaning and purpose' can run thin if you don't know who you are in Christ though and all that He accomplished for us through His death and resurrection.
It wasn't until 12 years ago that I discovered my identity in Christ, His total forgiveness and the reality of His very Life living in me. What a difference it has made in my marriage. Truth really does set us free. Free to be the people God intended for us to be when He restores to us the Life lost in Adam!
John and I have been married 40 years now and the joy of 'serving one another in love' that you spoke of is so different than expecting to be 'kept happy' by another person. Receiving from Christ what only He can give that we might give to others is a 'joy producer' on both ends.
Karen
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