A Nagging Wife

Q: Where in the bible does it talk about a nagging wife?

A: In her attempts to discover the secret of Samson’s strength, Delilah nagged him to into submission. It says of Delilah, in Judges 16, “With such nagging she prodded him day after day until he was tired to death (Judges 16:16).” In other words, Samson was so tired of Delilah asking him the secret to his strength that he eventually gave in and told her. Nagging, by definition, means persistently recurring or unrelenting. Delilah used her nagging, in combination with Samson’s love for her, to get her way with him. Eventually, it led to Samson’s demise. The Bible uses some clear descriptions to illustrate a nagging wife.

• “A foolish son is his father's ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping.” Proverbs 19:13
• “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” Proverbs 21:9
• “Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.” Proverbs 21:19
  

Would you consider it consistent with being a Christian to nag someone to death? Other words used to describe nagging are agonizing, awful, distressing, terrible, unpleasant and tormenting. There is nothing complimentary about these descriptions. I doubt a wife, or anybody else for that matter, would want to be described in this manner. Besides, a husband and wife should be able to communicate with each other about anything. Nagging is the end result of the loss of communication in a relationship. The Bible also speaks of a wife who is not nagging.

• “A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.” Proverbs 12:4
• “Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.” Proverbs 19:14
• “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” Proverbs 31:10
  

The effects of a nagging wife eventually lead to the dissolution of a marriage. But, before it gets to that point the marriage could take some dark turns into terrible sins. A husband who does not want to be around his wife is a prime target for an affair. When a wife’s nagging becomes unbearable physical abuse could find its way into a relationship. That is why the Bible talks about it better to be in the desert or on the roof than in the presence of a nagging wife. A husband will just want to get away from his wife. Contrary to that is the wife who expresses the love of God she has received from Him to her husband.

The Bible speaks of love (1 Corinthians 13) as patient, kind, not rude, not self-seeking and not easily angered. These are descriptions of how God is, and has been, towards us. When someone loves you in the manner in which God has loved us, what is the usual response? In the case of God it is to “approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need (Hebrews 4:16).” Similarly, we will want to approach the one loving us in order to talk things over and work through our differences. When a wife loves her husband with the love she has received from God, and vice versa, it is nearly impossible not to be able to find common ground on any given subject. The key question to ask yourself is “are you receiving the love of God?” If not, you will not know how to love your husband and he will not respond to you in the manner you desire. The result will be you nagging him to death to get your way. And even if you get your way, you may lose much more in the process. Rather than nagging, “Do everything in love (1 Corinthians 16:14).”