Q: If someone truly repents from a crime they committed in their life, should they still go to jail? What if the law didn't catch a man for his crime? Should he turn himself in even though he wasn't caught? For instance, I had relations with a 15 year old girl when I was 19 years old. I think our age difference was 3 years and some months because I think she turned 16 before I turned 20. I'm now 21. But at that time, a cop asked me if I was having sex with her and I lied and said no. But my question on this is, should I turn myself in? I have repented from this and I have learned my lesson.
A: Thank you for your questions. Most all of us men, at one time or another, have done something stupid or even criminal in our lifetimes. And if we are caught doing it then we must be man enough to suffer any consequences that arise from our actions up to and including going to jail. If one is not caught for their crime then all I can say is that it depends on how long a man can stand living with his conscience and the guilt associated with his remorse. I don't know if you forced this young girl to have sex with you, but it sounds like you were just two young teenagers who got up in lust and hormones. I am assuming it was a consensual act between the two of you, nobody was harmed and you didn't father a child. Lying to the police officer was wrong, but understandable given your age and the fear you were undergoing. You also have to keep in mind the young lady and what she is feeling and experiencing. If she consented to the act and is chalking the experience up to youthful lust, then maybe you are best served leaving the situation alone. If you are concerned about what God feels about your act, you can be at rest.
I am assuming you are a Christian. The Bible is clear as to your circumstances. First of all, is the matter of you having sex with a lady who is not your wife. That right there is wrong regardless of your ages. "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral (Hebrews 13:4)." Sexual intercourse is reserved for marriage between a man and his wife. You are guilty of sexual immorality. However, you are not alone. I have never been married, but I am not a virgin. Therefore, I am just as guilty before God as you are as it pertains to sexual immorality. It is wrong and should never be condoned. But, we are weak in our flesh. Secondly, be encouraged that you are concerned about your behavior. That, to me, is a sign of someone who is not practicing this type of behavior as if it is okay to do so. I believe that to be a sign of your salvation. Unbelievers do not often feel guilty about their actions like you feel. And remember the fact that God is not counting your sin against you.
Understanding the forgiveness of God is one of the most important subjects to be clear about as a Christian. Failure to understand forgiveness can leave you feeling as though you are God's enemy. However, nothing can be further from the truth. "Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will never count against him (Romans 4:8)." The death of Jesus Christ took away all your sins from the eyes of God for eternity. There is no sin, including the sin we are discussing today, that separates you from your God. Again, that doesn't mean that what you did is okay or to be encouraged, but it should remind you of how much you need the grace and mercy of our God. God wants you to know there is an alternative to sexual immorality. It is His unconditional love and total acceptance that can be found only through faith in Jesus Christ. I am of the belief that many of the physical sins we engage in, primarily sexual sin, is to fill a spiritual need inside of us. How many sins have you committed because you wanted someone to love you or accept you? I could be wrong, but I bet that played a role in you having sex with the young lady you are speaking of. The desires that we have for unconditional love and total acceptance were put there by God because He is the only one that satisfies those needs through faith in Jesus Christ.
Do not get me wrong, God wants you to enjoy the gift of sex He has provided. However, He designed it to be enjoyed within the context of marriage between a man and a woman. Just look at all the problems that arise from sexual activity outside of marriage. No doubt you are worried about, what seems to be, getting a charge of statutory rape filed against you or worse because of your actions. If you feel led to "turn yourself in" then I will not stop you. Perhaps facing your demons, so to speak, will alleviate the anxiety you are feeling. The Bible speaks about submitting to the authorities that God has put in place in order to avoid them bringing judgment on you, so as not to live in fear of them and to bring punishment on wrongdoers. "Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also because of conscience (Romans 13:5)." God is not counting your sin against you. However, the authorities may if they determine you have violated the law. Your conscience is bothering you because you have sinned and may have violated the law. Do what is necessary to clear your conscience and remember that whatever you do, God goes with you because of your faith in Jesus Christ. I cannot tell you what the outcome of your decision will be, but I do know that God will never leave you or forsake regardless of what you decide or what the outcome is. Grace and Peace.
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