Known by God

Q: Hi, I really need some advice and help. For a few years now, I have been trying to convert to Christianity and to live according to God's will, and not according to my habitual sinful ways. I have prayed to God many times, asked for his forgiveness, and really tried hard to repent and turn away from sin. But I never manage to get out of this sinful pit I'm in; it is as if every time Jesus reaches his hand to me, and I grab it, and he pulls me up, I let go and fall back down. Although I believe in my heart that Jesus is real and the only way to salvation, I have not managed to turn from sin. And today, it finally hit me: I have accepted Jesus in my heart, but not admitted so with my mouth. No one knows I've accpted Jesus, and I haven't told anyone that I believe, and if anyone asked me, I would probably deny it. I think the reason I can't stop living sinfully, is because of what Jesus said in Matthew 10:32-33. I live in a very secular Norway, and it is often looked down upon to believe in Christ. I really want to go to church, but nearly no one my age goes to church (I'm 17), and I can't go with my parents. I just need some inspiration so that I will admit my belief in Christ, go to Church, and start living the Christian life.

A: Thank you for looking for assistance. You mention the need for "inspiration so that I will admit my belief in Christ, go to church and start living the Christian life." Well, I think you have given yourself that inspiration. You have come on a Christian website seeking advice and while doing so you have admitted that you "have accepted Jesus" in your heart. Unbelievers do not do that, but you did. Furthermore, someone who is not a Christian doesn't ponder for years about trying to "convert to Christianity and to live according to God's will." People who have not accepted Jesus Christ as their savior are not preoccupied with the forgiveness of their sins and turning from sin. Plus, you admit that Jesus "reaches his hand to me, and I grab it, and he pulls me up." You may not see it the same way, but that is a testimony about the Lord's effect on your life. You also say that you "haven't told anybody that I believe," but you just told me. No, it was not a verbal confession of your faith, but a confession of faith, nonetheless. Rejoice in that. What you see as struggling with your faith, I see as examples of it. Before you accepted Jesus Christ as your savior, did you struggle with all these things? I dare say that you did not. However, the struggle is the inspiration you seek.

When you get a moment, open your Bible to Romans 7. There you will see the Apostle Paul admit to a struggle he was having. In that chapter you will see Paul write, "I don't understand what I do. I don't do what I want to do. Instead, I do what I hate to do. I do what I don't want to do (Romans 7:15-16)." Does that sound familiar? It should. Paul's struggle is a struggle all Christians have and will continue to have until the day we die or Jesus comes back to get us, whichever comes first. As much as we hate sin in our lives, it serves a purpose to always keep us focused on Jesus Christ. We can and do see ourselves have victory over sins in our lives, but we will never be rid of it. However, the only way to begin to overcome sin is to recognize what Paul did. "What a terrible failure I am! Who will save me from this sin that brings death to my body? I give thanks to God. He will do it through Jesus Christ our Lord (Romans 7:24-25)."Only by recognizing that you cannot live the Christian life in your own strength will you begin to see sin diminish in your life. That begins and ends by understanding how God sees you because of your faith in Jesus; your identity in Christ.

You mentioned that you have been "trying to convert to Christianity." Well, converting to Christianity is not a process that you try to accomplish through sinless living or going to Church. The moment you accepted Jesus Christ as your savior you were "converted." Even better, you were born again (John 3:3) and became a new creation in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17). The conversion that took place is that you went from being spiritually dead to God in your sins to spiritually alive to God because of the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit of God. Jesus Christ is now living inside of you in the form of the Holy Spirit. That is why the Bible says that Christians are the "body of Christ (1 Corinthians 12:27)" and "temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19)." Once you establish the fact that you have not so much converted to Christianity, but you have been made alive to God through faith in Jesus Christ, you can focus on your identity in Christ. What often happens when a person first comes to faith in Jesus is that they are told what they need to do for God instead of what God has already done for them. I do not know this to be a fact with you, but after reading your question, I get the feeling that you have been taught to believe this to some degree. The difference between what you are told to do for God and what God has already done for you is who your focus is on; you or God. At the moment, your focus seems to be on you and not God.

Living according to God's will is a key to getting your focus on God and off of you. Most often Christians believe that God's will is determining what does He want them to do with their lives. However, I want you to look at it from an often overlooked perspective; not what He wants you to do, but what you have inherited as result of the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Part of that inheritance is as follows: You have forgiveness, you don't ask for it (Ephesians 1:7; Hebrews 10:17-18; Colossians 2:13).  You are unconditionally loved by God (Romans 8:37-39). You don't have to worry about letting go of God and falling back down because God will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). God knows you struggle with sin, but He totally accepts you (Romans 15:7). God is not counting your sins against you because of the death of Jesus Christ (2 Corinthians 5:19-21). All of this allows Him to meet the deepest desires of your heart He created you to have. Therefore, you will realize that the Christian life is not about you living for God, but learning to trust and depend on Him as He lives through you. In the midst of this you will learn to believe that God knows you  (Galatians 4:9) because of your faith in Jesus Christ. And when you realize He knows you because of your faith, you will begin to tell others about the God you know despite what others think about your faith in Jesus Christ. Grace and Peace