"For we walk by faith, not by sight." 2 Corinthians 5:7
In 2015, a woman named Darlene lost her 14 year-old daughter to an asthma attack. Understandably, still grieving, Darlene shared her feelings during a conversation about, "Your Dreams and God's Plan." She said, "I don't like the story. I don't like the story He (God) wrote for me. I hate it. And I'm mad about it! And it sure doesn't feel like His plans won't harm me or my daughter for that matter." It is devastating to hear of Darlene's loss and her struggle with trying to make sense of it all. She is in my prayers. However, the reasons she gives as to why she is angry at God, reflects some error in her thinking that many Christians share about the scriptures. It sounds like she is referring to Jeremiah 29:11 when she talks about God's plans "won't harm" her or her daughter. That verse reads, "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." If this is the verse she is referring to, what Darlene, and others, need to understand is that this verse of scripture was not written to her or individual Christians. This verse was written "to the surviving elders among the exiles and to the priests, the prophets and all the other people Nebuchadnezzar had carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon (Jeremiah 29:1)." It was a promise to the nation of Israel, not to individual Christians. This doesn't mean God, in Christ, won't bless us or protect us from harm, but to take a promise He didn't make to you and then get angry at Him for seemingly not fulfilling that promise says more about us then it does Him. Furthermore, I am unaware where it says that God wrote the "story" of her life or any of our lives, where He specifically says she would lose her daughter from an asthma attack at age 14. That is not the God I know and have placed faith in. What the Lord has written is that we would experience tribulation, but that He has overcome the world (John 16:33). He goes on to tell us that He sends rain on the just and the unjust (Matthew 5:45). We are not immune to the sufferings of this world. However, when they do strike us, we can go to Him and see what it is we can learn about Him and us in the midst of tragedy. Then as He leads us and guides us, we will learn to find comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3) in what He reveals to us and then, in time, we can share that with those who we come in contact with and comfort them (2 Corinthians 1:4). I am reminded that God, in Christ, lost His child. In fact, He willingly gave Him up. Therefore, He is not unfamiliar with the pain Darlene, and those like her, have experienced.
Too often the circumstances of life, combined with a misunderstanding of scripture, leads us to taking our focus off of Jesus and put it on to ourselves. Therefore, we can live our lives as if we have gotten the scriptures backwards. We tend to live by sight, instead of living by faith. Living by sight means we end up judging God's love for us based off of the ups and downs of our lives. So, when tragedy strikes we look at God as if He has "forsaken" us, is not "faithful," does not "love" us, and like we have been "snatched" from His hands. However, living by faith is understanding His truths and then responding to the circumstances of life accordingly. There is the example of a couple named Reed and Marian taken from the book, "Grace Stories." Reed and Marian had a 6 year-old daughter named Wendy. Wendy was a passenger in a car which was traveling on slick roads caused by a rain storm. The driver of the car Wendy was in lost control, crashed across the median and into oncoming traffic. Wendy was thrown from the car and killed instantly. A few weeks later Reed was asked, "How are you holding up? How have you learned to deal with the loss of Wendy?" Reed replied, "Let me tell you about that ... Marian and I look at it this way. What if God had come to us six years ago and made us an offer: 'Reed and Marian, I have a little girl, a daughter of Mine, named Wendy. She's only going to be on earth for six years. But I need someone who will love her, look after her, and teach her about Me for those six years. Then I'm going to take her home to Me. So, I wonder: Would you like Me to give her to you, realizing that those are the conditions, or should I offer her to someone else?' Marian and I both would have said, 'Oh, yes, Lord. Give her to us!' And that's just what we feel that God has done." Now, this doesn't mean that Darlene should feel the same way. Everybody grieves differently. However, the reaction of Reed and Marian to the loss of their daughter shows one of an understanding who God is, who they are through faith in Jesus, and how He works in the midst of the pain and suffering we go through. It is a response of faith, not one of sight. My prayer for Darlene, and those like her, is that in her anger at God she will experience His comfort and find out the truth about what He has promised, namely that He will never leave her or forsake her, and that will carry her forward. The pain of losing her child will probably never completely go away, but I pray that she will realize that while time doesn't heal all wounds, Jesus does. "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3)."
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