Foolish Talk

"It’s not right that dirty stories, foolish talk, or obscene jokes should be mentioned among you either. Instead, give thanks to God." Ephesians 5:4

The activity goes by many names, but history commonly refers to it as "The Dozens." According to Wikipedia, "The Dozens is a game of spoken words between two contestants, common in Black communities of the United States, where participants insult each other until one gives up ... It is customary for the Dozens to be played in front of an audience of bystanders, who encourage the participants to reply with more egregious insults to heighten the tension and, consequently, to be more interesting to watch." When I was growing up, we usually referred to it as "Cracking," and it took place in front of friends almost anywhere, but lunchrooms and, later, kitchen tables were the common locations. Nothing was off limits. If you engaged in this activity, you had to be aware that the subjects could range from your personal appearance to your family, and anything in between. Having a thick skin, a quick wit and a willingness to laugh at yourself were a must. You would think that having public and personal "cracking" contests on each other could get heated. While sometimes it did, it was usually just a form of recreation intended on letting off steam and laughing at each other. In general, it was a verbal form of rough-housing. I guess today it would be called bullying, but it kind of had cultural significance since it was a way to sort out who were the, so-called, alpha and beta males among a group of friends. Depending on how you look at it, I was pretty good at "cracking" on people. I say depends because if you are on the receiving end of a barrage of personal attacks, it is not a desirable place to be. This is, especially, the case if you were the kind of person who normally did not engage in this sort of behavior. You could really tear somebody down, emotionally, by attacking them in such a way because these things usually happened in a public atmosphere. If anybody was like me, when I engaged in the behavior, it was primarily just to make people laugh and receive the attention from friends and bystanders. Rarely, was the intention to hurt somebody. Looking back now, it is easy to see why the Bible says the "tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit (Proverbs 18:21)." A person can only take so much verbal abuse before they respond in anger, either verbally, physically or both.  God forbid they directed their frustration and outrage inwardly toward themselves. No doubt these sort of things have happened in the past and to this day.

Not long after I was saved, I got a small taste of what it must be like to be in a position where you couldn't or didn't respond to somebody who was verbally attacking you. I was at a house party when a friend of mine directed some "insult" my direction. It was intended to engage me in another "cracking" contest. However, I chose not to respond because I didn't want to respond. The Lord was doing a work in me and I knew that if I responded, the last thing that would have taken place is me glorifying God. But, I was thankful that He had taken/was taking away my desire to engage in that behavior. Therefore, when my friend started in on me, my reaction was just to smile because we both knew what he was trying to do. The best part of the whole situation was another friend of mine who was sitting close to me. He was excited with anticipation of what he thought was going to come out of my mouth in response to our friend, but when I didn't say anything, he looked at me and was like, "You're not going to say anything?" My lack of response was one of those times where I realized that I had become a "new creation" in Christ. It was not that I had found a way to overcome my behavior or that I wanted to misbehave, but chose not to. It was the fact that I did not want to misbehave which had a direct impact on my behavior. There was no longer the need for the attention of my friends or bystanders because I was receiving "attention" from my God. He was meeting the deepest needs of my heart in Him. Therefore, I didn't look for it from others, which I could only receive by engaging in sin. The scriptures talk about not engaging in dirty stories, foolish talk and obscene jokes and I have only discussed the foolish talk here. But, the scriptures go on to say that these things should not be "mentioned among you." How many people remember all the things I have said while engaging in such poor behavior? This is a legacy of sorts that cannot be undone. Yet, this is not said as some sort of self-condemnation, but to show that when you have a history of this type of poor behavior, but suddenly reverse course, it is that sudden change that can speak louder than any poor behavior could have done. It is in that where you can truly give thanks to God for what He can do to a heart that is being transformed by the indwelling Holy Spirit through faith in Jesus Christ.