Test Drive

"Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." Genesis 2:24

Fifty years ago the late Reverend Billy Graham was a guest on a television special with actor, director, and comedian, Woody Allen. During the interview, the host, Woody Allen, took questions from the audience. The first audience member stood up and asked, "Mr. Graham, I read that you don't believe in premarital sexual relations. Is this true?" Billy Graham replied, "It's not a matter of what I believe, it's what the Bible teaches. The Bible teaches that premarital sexual relations are wrong." His answer was clear and to the point. However, when Woody Allen responded to Billy Graham's answer, he said, "To me, that would be like getting a drivers license without getting a learners permit first." Graham continued, "We have to have rules to live by. And what we're saying is we're going to play a baseball game without any rules. We're going to play a football game without any rules. We're going to live a life without any moral rules. Well, God has laid down certain rules and said if you want the best of life, you want complete happiness and fulfillment, live by these rules. And one of those rules is thou shall not commit immorality." Allen interjected, "Say I'm dating a girl ... don't I want to get some inkling of the territory?" An "inkling of the territory" is another way of saying, "Can't I have sex with her before I commit to marrying her?" Again, Graham replied. He said, "Most psychologists today ... I think would agree with the Bible. That there are very serious problems involved. God did not say thou shall not commit immorality before marriage, in order to keep you from having a good time ... He said that to protect you. To protect you psychologically, to protect your body, because today venereal disease is at an all-time high in spite of all our problems. Illegitimacy is at an all-time high in spite of all our medical science. And God said "I want to make you happy. I want to help you. And I've given you some rules to live by and this is the rule." Allen's last response was to say, "What if I marry the girl and after I do get to investigate her carnally and it turns out she's an absolute yo-yo?" Graham kindly responded, "Well, I don't think that will happen to you." That ended the conversation. It was a cordial conversation that could have easily devolved into a verbal sparring match. Many interesting things were said by the two. The most interesting of which was Woody Allen's consistent attempts to equate having premarital sex to test driving a new car before you make the decision to buy it. Billy Graham made a valiant effort to emphasize the consequences of this behavior; the rise in contracting sexually transmitted diseases, psychological problems, and the increase of children born out of wedlock and probably without a father in the home. However, I didn't get the idea that Woody Allen was persuaded by Billy Graham's arguments. But is there some validity to Woody Allen's argument?

There are many people today who would use a similar argument to that of Woody Allen's in order to justify premarital sex. However, there are some interesting similarities to using the analogy of test driving a car to excuse having sex before marriage. According to research by R.L. Polk, "the average age of a modern vehicle is 11.4 years, while the average length of time drivers keep a new vehicle is 71.4 months -- around 6 years. So even if you plan to own a car forever, the statistics are against you." Assuming that nearly every vehicle purchased is test-driven before it is purchased, it is interesting that new vehicles are only kept about 6 years.  The organization "Wait till Marriage," reported in 2012 that about "3% of Americans wait until marriage to have sex (successfully)." If this is true it means that 97% of Americans fail to successfully wait until marriage to have sex. That means there is a whole lot of "carnal investigation" and "test driving" occurring prior to couples getting married. But, there is more. The website "The Balance" reports that "On average, the typical U.S. marriage that ends in divorce lasts just seven years." If all these numbers are accurate, what can we conclude? The conclusion is that divorce is so high today because it seems people are treating it like buying a car; you test drive it, buy it, and then separate from it in six or seven years for a different model. These numbers don't even touch on the other things mentioned by Billy Graham; sexually transmitted diseases, psychological problems, illegitimate births, etc. Ultimately, all these problems stem from getting away from God's definition of marriage. That being that a man and woman become "one flesh" for life. This is also a picture of God's "marriage" to the Church, the body of Christ, where we become one with God in Christ. As the scripture says, "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus (Galatians 3:28)." Given the increasingly godless society and world we live in today, which ironically enough began back in the 1960s, we should not be surprised that things like premarital sex and biblical marriage are being diminished to point of being like the process of purchasing a vehicle. But, with God, there is always hope. In 1 Corinthians 6, Paul goes through a laundry list of sins that those who will not inherit the kingdom of God are practicing. Then he changes directions and says, "And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God (1 Corinthians 6:11)." All Christians used to be identified by the sins we practiced because they were a sign of the fact we were spiritually dead people who did not believe in Jesus Christ. And yes, many of us were "test driving" each other sexually before marriage while others were merely "renting" from each other with no intent to "buy." But, thanks be to God, He still loves the world, has forgiven our sins, and offers eternal life through faith in Jesus Christ. Come be one with Him.